ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
