Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
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