sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
