Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
