I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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