She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
