i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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