i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
