Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
