he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize