What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
How external is "for external use only"?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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