youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
