we made out on top of his cat.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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