Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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