Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
