Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He better not be in your backpack
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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