worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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