we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
