Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I supernannyed him into submission
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize