The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
