OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
