What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
