you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
