your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
