Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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