I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Operation Purity has been aborted
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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