I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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