Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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