I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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