can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
