yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
