Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
