yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i think i have two assholes
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
