We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
