Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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