is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
