Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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