they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
