You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
