I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize