I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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