And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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