Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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