Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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