Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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