Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
