I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
