I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
