How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
