I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
