But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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