All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
