Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
