All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
