if you like me you must not know who I am
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
