...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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