If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
