if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
