Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize