One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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