$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize