It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
