You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
