To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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