we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
